10 tips for snow day virgins
We interrupt the normally scheduled posts to bring you this important message:
Wayland Superintendent Dr. Gary Burton, mere months from retirement, has decided to throw an early retirement party. A snow day will be served, last seen many years ago. For some, it will be the first glimpse of this delightful occasion. Kept in the Burton Cellar, it has finally made its way out for the children of Wayland to cherish.
But what is to be done on such a day? You’ve come to the right place.
Here at WSPN, staff members have been working overtime, frantically flipping through the archives to learn about this rare event, once thought to be extinct. It was believed to have been wiped off the Wayland map upon Dr. Burton’s takeover of the school system, but now it is back.
As a final hurrah, perhaps to boost Dr. Burton’s legacy, Wayland students will not be required to attend classes as snow falls from the sky.
No longer will neighboring towns be able to enjoy an unexpected break from education at Wayland’s expense. No longer will the children of Wayland be kept from sledding with the kids of Weston. No. Today, our dream has come true!
Go on. Celebrate. You have one more day to turn in that English essay! As for the snow day virgins, have no fear. Here are 10Things! you have been deprived of:
1. Catch up on the shut-eye. No reason to wake up early!
2. Go sledding.
3. Have a snowball fight where no teacher can yell at you, where slush dribbling down your victim’s back is encouraged, not condemned.
4. Drink…hot chocolate with the tiny marshmallows. There is nothing better.
5. Sit in front of the fireplace.
6. Vegetate in front of the television on a school night.
7. Go to a friend’s house.
8. Pwn mad n00bs with your Xbox Live skills.
9. Catch up on the shut-eye some more.
10. Realize too late that the homework you put off until today still hasn’t been done.
Enjoy, and keep ‘em coming Dr. Burton.