Like most juniors, I took my PSATS a few months ago. While it was its own source of annoyance, I learned last month that this was only the tip of the iceberg. I’m talking, of course, about college letters.

The scores were released to colleges a while later and the result was like a shark sniffing
blood in the water. Since the scores were released, I have been flooded with emails and letters.In fact, I made a label in my Gmail account to keep track of how many emails – in the past month, I have received roughly 160 emails.

Of course, emails aren’t that bad. They’re easy to deal with. It’s the letters that are really starting to annoy me. Before I started to get them, I used to kind of complain I never got mail. Well, I’m never going to make that complaint again. My living room becomes flooded with the letters every week before we clean it each weekend.

I actually tried reading a few of the letters – and promptly found that they were a complete waste of time. Seriously, all I learned from each letter was, “Hi! We’re a university!”

Really? It’s not like the word university on the back of the envelope tipped me off or anything.

To quote an old post, “Way to state the obvious.”

This leaves me with the problem of what to do with the letters. Of course, I could just throw them away, but where would be the fun in that? It was suggested to me, then, that I
could use them as wallpaper. Brilliant! My walls will soon be covered in these letters. And of course, I have a plan:

“Let’s see, the crappier colleges will obviously line the bathroom wall, but I think I’ll save the Ivy Leagues for my bedroom.”

In fact, I think I should save the more prestigious universities for a special wall in my room – it would sort of be like the Wall of Shame in the old high school. Of course, since I’m not receiving rejection letters (I’m not there yet), I couldn’t call it the Wall of Shame. Given the content, maybe I could call it the Wall of Banality. Hmm, that doesn’t have quite the same ring.

Well, if any of you have any ideas, feel free to post them in the comments section.