I admire people who will stand in front of 280 kids and speak. The candidates in week’s last election all took different approaches to their speeches. Some were firm and direct, no beating around the bush, and some threw in a joke or two. Miles Adler ended his speech with, “Remember, go with the ‘fro!”

I’ve never had to give a big speech, but I’ve noticed a few things about the process. The candidates look out over the audience, hoping to find a familiar face, and then, of course, their eyes rest on the one person who’s holding his breath and crossing his eyes, flopping around like he’s in the middle of an epileptic fit. Then the speech-givers start to giggle a little, and the audience looks at them like they’re nuts.

Campaign awareness was generated by a few posters on the walls and people handing out candy. I did the natural, honest thing, which was to accept candy even if I had no intention of voting for that person. But really, is that the best way to get your candidate to win?

“My candidate’s presidency is worth a mini Airhead!”

Anyway, congratulations to Miles for winning class president, Larry Guo for winning vice president, and Courtney Bolivar for winning secretary. Personally though, I was a little disappointed by the whole thing. I expected to see posters on the walls slinging mud at opponents, and fierce debates consisting of,

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

Just like the presidential campaign, no? What’s politics without the lying, pointless arguments, and treachery? But maybe I’m taking the wrong attitude about things. Maybe I should be happy a clean campaign was run. And maybe it says something about America when a high school can run a decent campaign, and this country can’t.

Tune in next week for a series of horrible jokes concerning freshman politics,

Andy