I started with a fist-sized lump of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough (I imagine other brands are comparable, assuming they also come in awesome tubes). I then folded in not one, but two types of sprinkles, poured on more than enough food coloring to thoroughly stain my hands and stuck the concoction in the oven. I found baking instructions on my tube, and with any luck, you will too.

For me, the Frankencookie was a test of courage and honor. It probably helps that it tastes like a sugar cookie with sprinkles, but still, I feel like I’ve accomplished a great feat in consuming it.

Be careful though. If you naively attempt to transport a still-soft Frankencookie, which is in the nine-inch diameter range, you might break it and accidentally think about plate tectonics.

And while we’re on the topic of naivety, be sure to constantly remind your onlooking friends that the cookie’s official name is “Dr. Frankencookie’s Monster.” You’re just calling it “Frankencookie” because it’s easy on the tongue, in both senses.