Although the k-9 assisted drug search last Friday did not result in the finding of any illegal substances on campus, the search was not entirely fruitless. Written by a Wayland freshman, the letter below was found in a suspected bag, and immediately confiscated by officials. Consequently, it was handed over to and read by school administrators.

Aware of the breach of student rights and privacy involved in the confiscation, administrators tried their hardest to dispose of the letter without news of this infringement leaking out to student body. However, WSPN intercepted the document en route to the shredder. The document below has not been altered in any way, although the identity of the writer (a freshman with black hair, about 5’6, and kind of goofy looking) has been omitted.

Dear Santa Clause, Harry Hanukkah, and Kevin Kwanzaa,

I’m not quite sure which of you all to believe in any more, so this is a shout out to all three of you, as well as any of those other holiday guys. Except Easter Bunny, I don’t like him. Once, he gave me peanuts, and I’m allergic to those. I had a reaction and got real sick.

Anyways, I’m writing this thing to you guys ’cause I hear you can pull off some pretty cool stuff, like flying sleighs. I need something real important. Life or death important, basically. You see, me and all my friends go to Wayland High School, and we like it a lot.

It’s so full of uniquitiness, or at least that’s what everyone says. They say it’s special and one of a kind. (Just like me!) Anyways, it’s so neat and cool ’cause it’s got lots of buildings, and you get to walk around outside all the time between classes. I love it. The other day, my friend fell in a huge slushy puddle! Oh boy, that was funny. And then when I was getting out my phone to take a picture of him crying, I slipped on the ice and bumped my head, and all the kids in the Commons (that’s where everyone eats) laughed at me! I love it here.

Then, I got up and walked into the cafeteria. Gosh, I got the nicest welcome! All the senior guys were smiling at me and clapping, and gosh, I felt like million bucks! I was just entering the door when I saw my friend, who was mouthing something pretty frantically. I couldn’t understand, so I just smiled and waved. That’s when I tripped on the rug those funny senior guys had rolled up!

I fell flat on my face, and everyone positively erupted in laughter. My books were everywhere and I kinda hurt my arm, but boy it was worth it making all those people laugh. I might even pursue a career in that kind of thing, I heard clowns makes lots of money and most of them end up on Easy Street. (I don’t even know where that is but I think it’s in Lincoln, or somewhere near!) I’ll remember that moment forever.

I pulled myself up off the floor and headed over to Fran, the girl who was trying to get my attention before. We sat down and started to eat, but every two seconds the Commons door opened, and freezing air came gushing in. It was so cold! But it didn’t bother us, ’cause Fran had brought a blanket. Good old Fran. Apparently, the heat had shut off in the Language building a few weeks before, and since then she’s always come to school prepared.

We enjoyed a cozy lunch, and only our noses got cold cause we wore hats and gloves. Boy, is it tough to eat mozzarella sticks while wearing gloves! We finished lunch, and went to walk around outside. There’s this rule at Wayland about no throwing snowballs, but I got pelted in the side by some kid. He got demerits though.

That’s what’s so great about this place—it really teaches us students to have self control. They tempt you with being outdoors, but say you can’t throw snowballs. They have one story buildings, but say you can’t climb onto them. They have tunnels beneath the school with pinball machines, but say you can’t go down and play pinball ’cause of the asbestos. I really have learned a lot about putting rules before instinct.

My mom says instinct is my best quality though. That’s why I’m writing to you all. When I heard that the town had decided to make a new high school, my instinct suddenly started talking to me. Well, it might have been my conscience actually, I’m not quite sure.

Anyways, I realized to myself that the Wayland High School I am attending is a bona-fide, natural born Memory-Maker. It’s just one of those places, like the zoo or like the rollerskating rink they used to have in Waltham, that is simply there to make memories! I’m sure my friend Tim will never forget this place, since he broke his femur slipping on the ice on Wednesday and is out of basketball for the season. I know my brother Larry won’t forget this place either. He already graduated, but he told me that during every free period he ever had in high school, he would go down into those tunnels and play pinball. Now he has lung problems I guess, which he won’t be forgetting any time soon.

You see, what I’m trying to say is that a one building Wayland High School just won’t be as cool. And if they really have to do it I wish they could wait like a few years ’til I’m out of here. All I’ve ever wanted in life was senior parking, and rumor has it that it’s not gonna happen! That’s not selfish, right?

Please, Santa, Harry, and Kevin, all I want for my present this winter and next winter and next winter is my high school. It’s so special, and there’s nowhere else like it (except college I heard?). I guess when I’ve graduated you can let them tear it down, but can you just do me this a favor and make them keep it the same for now? I’ve been a really good boy this year, and to be honest I think I deserve it.

Faithfully yours,

[NAME WITHHELD BY WSPN]