1.     You can run as far away as you want, but midterms will pummel you into submission. There is no avoiding them. Get in, get out as fast as you can! Sitting in there only leads to more of a beating.

2.     Sometimes midterms think it’s funny to toy with the terrified object of their terror. They will gang up in pairs of two occasionally to harass the weak. Combat their cruelty with some never-dull mechanical pencils and a jumbo eraser.

3.     Four days of torture do have one good benefit. In times of desperation, think of the goodness to come. One week of chaos ensues when Winter Week begins. Get hypnotized, find your inner ape, and drop mad beats. There is even a chance to score a date with that senior you’ve been stalking…yes, we all know what you’ve been up to.

4.     Come prepared. These tests of mental fitness pack a punch and are not afraid to bite you in the behind. Don’t be a hero. It never ends well.

5.     Midterms think they’re all that, so they come at you with material from the first weeks of school. The likelihood is that you weren’t paying attention then, so go and find out exactly what happened in the war of 1812. Wikipedia is your best friend, no matter how much teachers say it will stab you in the back later.
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6.     Learn to love the little blue book. It’s you, him, and two hours. Enjoy.

7.     Midterms may release you from their grasp before lunch, but you are not safe. Don’t let the next one catch you by surprise. It’s right around the corner.

8.     Try to take ’em out by working in groups. Study session, anyone? If it’s you and the midterm mano y mano, the odds are against you.

9.     Scantrons are machines, and machines are still not good enough to run the world. Odds are, you can get a few points back after the fact. A consolation prize?

10.  Good luck. If some of us don’t make it out of the mess, it’s in your hands to pass on this message to future generations.