So I started to write my first column for the year about the construction: shaking classrooms, parking conundrums, and overall chaos that this year will bring. But, the chaos I envisioned was quickly replaced by fear.

So many things will change once the new school is up. As the WHS community comes closer to leaving the old facilities, we, the 2011 seniors of WSPN, approach the fateful day when we no longer belong on the site.

Supreme know-it-all Basil Halperin will graduate and begin his 2020 presidential campaign. Co-Editors-in-Chief Mel and Dave will promptly jumpstart their plans to take over the Boston Globe and bring it up to speed with the 21st century, while I will hopefully have found my way into some sort of college that actually understands the merits of having a certified ninja on campus as one of their students.

We need a contingency plan that can be implemented for when this frightful day comes. WHS students can no longer ask what WSPN can do for them. It’s time to ask what WHS students can do for WSPN.

With that, I scrapped the idea of a construction column and came up with 10 things that must be taken care of before the end of WSPN as we know it.

My agenda for this year…

1. Quick! I need an understudy. Contact the WSPN office for more information. Must be of high school age to apply.
2. Train understudy in the arts of being a ninja. These skills are most important for any aspiring writer of 10Things, for one must be able to hide, avoid, and weasel their way out of tight schedules and implemented deadlines.
3. Brainwash.
4. Have understudy make me coffee and bring me breakfast. (This might not seem relevant, but it builds character.)
5. After ensuring that they memorize every word of past 10Things articles, have understudy take over blog while still listing me as the author.
6. Assign brainwashed understudy to fill in for me in classes, and complete all assignments.
7. Initiate senior slump. (It can’t come soon enough!)
8. …You know what?

Note to future understudy: complete items 8-10 following takeover.

Important:

Now if this kind of work seems right up your alley, please contact the WSPN editors at their office in the Fine Arts Building. We apologize in advance for any inconveniences that the construction for our new headquarters may bring you. Please allow for at least 30 minutes to park your car, and wear a hard hat at all times.

WSPN is not accountable for any falling debris from the crumbling buildings or severe shaking that is to be expected as we build for a better future.

Also I was joking about the brainwashing…so please do apply.

Thank you,

Siddharth Virkud

WSPN 10Things Columnist