“No!” The number one answer many teenagers hear when they ask a question. It’s hard getting what you want as a teenager, but don’t fret — there is hope! In just a few simple steps you’ll be hearing “yes” to your questions and be winning arguments in no time.
1. Radiate Confidence
Even if you aren’t confident, sounding like you know what you are talking about will work wonders. If you are acting desperate or seem weak, the other person will notice and be less likely to give you what you want.
2. Shoot high
Start off by proposing something that you consider to be a little too much for the opposing person to agree to. They may surprise you by agreeing, or you can change your argument to meet your main need and approach it as a compromise.
3. Know “why”
Be sure you have a few reasonable and strong arguments for why you want something, so the opposing person can understand where you are coming from and see that it makes sense for them to say yes.
4. Keep calm
If you are angry or upset, let time pass so you can collect yourself. Coming across as stubborn and mean will never help win a person over. On the other hand, smiling, making comfortable eye-contact and using inviting body language will place whomever you are speaking with at ease.
5. Talk about shared interests
Is there any way that your demand will also benefit the other person? Try and find a shared interest and capitalize on it by discussing how what you want will help both of you.
6. Use positive emotions
Don’t worry, be happy! By approaching the problem in a positive way, you will likely make the person you are talking to more agreeable. If you approach someone negatively, you will get a negative response.
7. Don’t talk about yourself
It is helpful to start out by talking to the other person about why agreeing to your request will benefit them or kindly tell the person what they would lose by disagreeing with you.
8. Go off on a tangent
If you veer off your main point by throwing in an interesting story or other information that you know will be of interest to the other person, they will be more inclined to be in a good mood and agree with you after you change the subject.
9. Be prepared to compromise
If it’s not working out exactly how you want it to, be sure to have a best alternative to your main argument. Try also to have a couple of secondary alternatives that will still benefit you if you need to use them. Don’t turn to these unless they are your last resort.
10. Give them time
Make sure you plant the seed about what you want well in advance. The more time they have to understand where you are coming from, the more time you have to persuade and be presented with your desired outcome. However, if you are in crunch time and you use these tips, you’ll still have a good chance of getting what you want.