Credit: Olivia Green

On Tuesday, May 12, jamele adams led the fourth Conversations, Not Confrontations session at the First Parish Church in Wayland. The group focused on developing the skills to have vulnerable and difficult conversations. “Folks wanted to figure out a way to build communities and build bridges and not continue to feed negative energy,” adams said. “[Community members] are continuing to use [these strategies] and evolve.”

On Tuesday, May 12, creator of the Love, Inclusion and Trust (LIT) framework jamele adams led the fourth Conversations, Not Confrontations focus group at First Parish Church in Wayland. Held in the meeting room, the group convened to discuss how to go about having difficult conversations.

adams spells his name with lowercase letters to demonstrate he is a small part of life’s great landscape. adams has a history of leadership and standout works, as the dean of students at Brandeis University, the LIT director at Scituate Public Schools and a renowned poet.

adams acted as a moderator, prompting the group with activities that pushed participants to talk to new people and be vulnerable with them. adams emphasized a sense of community by referring to participants as “family” and using words like “complex” instead of “difficult”.

“I use ‘complex’ instead of ‘difficult’ because complex means it can be done, it just requires some work,” adams said. “Those sentiments remain true time and time and time again.”

After attending multiple meetings, adams prompted Wayland residents to vote on whether they would like to continue convening. The group was overwhelmingly positive and expressed great gratitude for the opportunity to learn and grow together. During the meeting, adams prompted community members to find a partner and open up a discussion about a difficult topic of their own choosing.

“jamele is amazing,” Wayland resident Steve Greer said. “I think I learned just to listen a little more, to be open to hear what people are saying.”

adams communicated great satisfaction with the growth the group demonstrated, he felt that they have improved on communication skills and have grown into a stronger community. This focus group is part of a larger movement in Wayland to promote the LIT framework and bring the community together.

“We made a lot of great forward movement in terms of building community, building connections, increasing the tools that folks have access to when it comes to having complex conversations,” adams said. “Like folks said this evening, they feel more encouraged, they feel braver, they feel they have the ability to have conversations they didn’t think they could when things are complex.”

Residents articulated an urgent need for communication skills, especially with recent discriminatory events that have occurred in town. Community members expressed gratitude for the opportunity to practice difficult conversations, and articulated that the learned skills would be very applicable to daily life.

“I’ve only been in Wayland for nine months but I’ve heard about some of the events that happened in October,” Greer said. “So I think any town could use [these skills] but when there are incidents like that, it’s evidence that you need [assistance].”