Field House lifts off, returns to mother planet

Melanie Wang

The Wayland High School Field House, long regarded as the school’s most bizarre piece of architecture, departed the campus late Tuesday night, to return to its “home among the stars,” according to an anonymous source. Gym classes are canceled for this week as the school administration debates what to do next.

At around 11:47 PM, several high school students saw what reportedly resembled an enormous, white-hot fireball. “It was like the sun was imploding…or something,” one student told us. Though extremely cooperative when interviewed about the incident, none of the students interviewed were willing to explain their late-night presence on campus.

As the Field House took off into the sky, the neighboring residents and the fish living in the Sudbury River experienced earthquake-like tremors. The reverberations from lift-off could be heard up to two miles away, and by some reports, even down by Rite-Aid.

Besides the logistical problems caused by the disappearance of the Field House, longtime venue for many popular school sports, such as wrestling, basketball, indoor track and boys’ and girls’ volleyball, there are serious financial implications for the WHS community. Recently renovated, it represents a loss of thousands of taxpayer dollars.

The Wayland Police Department is currently investigating the incident, but refused to comment.